Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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