Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Randomize
