And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
