This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
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