Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
