So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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