when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
