ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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