i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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