Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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