mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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