so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I just forgot I was standing up.
Randomize
