i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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