you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
