It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
the day after is always just damage control
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
