we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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