How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
