i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
