"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
