We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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