I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
i out mim tonsoeep
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
