David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
