im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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