I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
