How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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