Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
