Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
