dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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