The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
