8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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