Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm like, not good at living.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
