I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Randomize