why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
