My Higher Power is John Stamos
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
