shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize