Well apparently he's into motor boating.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
