Where is the hickey?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
