My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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