if i can run in heels then i can drive
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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