Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
