it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
