Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I think my vagina is haunted
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
