i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
