would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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