at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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