i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
