I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize