She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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