batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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