my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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