Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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