haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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