Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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