Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
