I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize