Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
