You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
