Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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