Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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