even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
