so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
