Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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