He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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