You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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