Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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