Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
