listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
