Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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