she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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