theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
